You may have noticed something missing this month, something that you’ve seen for the past two years at Snap, Crackle, Pop: There’s no Joey’s Auction.
This year, I decided to take the year off, in part because I want to come back with a bang next year.
I always chose August as the month of auctions because August is Joey’s birth month. On Thursday, my little brother will turn 23 years old. And a lot has happened since that first auction two years ago:
- Joey graduated high school.
- Joey entered, and got kicked out of, a day program. (He’s a total doll baby, but let’s just say he has it in him to be a turd.)
- Joey started eating more than hot dogs (check out the third to last graph in that post). His menu currently includes White Castle burgers (if you forget to ask for them without onions, he will scrape them off, possibly on his own lap), sausage (the last time I was home, we had pizza. He stared at a piece on the plate in front of him for 10 minutes before snatching a piece of sausage off like a ninja), cucumbers (he’ll eat an entire one, cut up and in oil and seasonings), pickles (he used to only drink the juice) and more. He has also eaten an entire bullion cube (ew) and taken a bite of marinated, raw steak. (Well, tried to take a bite. Mom caught him as he did and got to him before he could actually swallow it.) When we sing him happy birthday this year, I’m wondering if he’ll take his first bit of cake in more than 20 years (unless he’s already had cake and Mom and Dad just haven’t mentioned that yet).
- I got engaged. OK, that doesn’t affect him directly, but Mom has been dreading this time of my life since I graduated high school. What to do with him for that entire day? What if he acts up? What if he wanders around the reception and steals pop from everyone in Jeff’s family? (OK, I’m sort of counting on that last one happening.) But my parents’ quest to find an aide for Joey over the past, oh, two years has not proven fruitful. The idea is that we’d get someone to be at the wedding to spend the entire time with Joey so my mom and dad can, oh, I don’t know, actually enjoy their daughter’s wedding. So he can have someone to take him home if necessary. So he can have someone to go with him to the rest room. So my folks can have an extra set of eyes glued to him at the party with 125-ish people. I plan to ask every aunt, uncle and cousin I have to help my folks and see to it that they are able to enjoy themselves, but really, if we could have one person who’s trained to deal with him, that’d be swell.
Any who, despite not having an auction this year, I can’t let Joey’s birthday go uncelebrated. So this year, I will donate 10 percent of every Jac & Elsie sale to Autism Speaks, starting today and going through Sunday, Aug. 19. If you’ve had your eye on anything and have been waiting to take the purchase plunge, now’s the time to do it.
If you want to help out but would rather donate directly to Autism Speaks, you can do so here. Say you’re giving for Joey. (And let me know so I can add it to the total. I’m happy to keep it anonymous, if you like.)
Joey, and my family, thank you (despite the fact that he’s giving you the stink eye).