Guest blog: Meet ‘Does This Baby Make Me Look Fat?’

24 May

I love guest posts — what a fabulous way to introduce reads to another fabulous blog? Meet Stephanie, of Does This Baby Make Me Look Fat?

Before you have a kid, it’s easy to tell yourself what kind of parent you will be.

My husband and I knew we wanted to have minimal toys and “baby things.”  It just wasn’t necessary to fall prey to manufacturers using marketing ploys to get you to buy things you don’t need.  A baby couldn’t possibly need so many things — they only sleep, eat and poop.

We knew we wanted to continue to maintain a functional house, one that would only hint that a baby actually lived there.  Toys would remain in the basement or his bedroom.  It’s as simple as that.

We would be a family that used the typical, disposable diapers — easy, convenient, done.

We would vigilantly sterilize every speck of dust off anything our son put in his mouth – all toys, bottles and pacifiers.  Anything less than that would guarantee a deadly illness, surely.


So there’s my son, William — in his cloth diaper, playing with his toys that he doesn’t need that just fell on the floor in our living room that is for “adults only.” He’s probably playing with our dog, who I guarantee had just been licking William’s  mouth. (Snap, Crackle, Pop says: She ain’t kidding. I’ve seen this. The dog likes to French kiss babies.)

It’s easy to tell yourself what kind of parent you think you are going to be.  But as soon as that adorable, crying, pooping, peeing machine comes into your life, all bets are off.

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