What do you sing to your babies?

2 Mar

I like to sing. In the shower, to the steering wheel, at karaoke, in the middle of the day dueting George Michael with a coworker — it matters not.

It should come as no surprise that when I “met” the bestie’s baby (do you meet babies, really?) on Friday, I sang to him. A lot. It’s cool because he didn’t care. He didn’t try to sing over me like a showoff or interrupt me because I was annoying him. (This, in part, is why I heavily recommend singing to 3 1/2-month-olds.)

Then, after I started singing in my “I am singing to a baby” voice, I realized WHAT exactly I was singing: Jeremih featuring 50 Cent, “Down on Me.” Yes … I was singing a song about oral sex to a baby.

“OMG, I’m so sorry!” I told the mama when I realized. She laughed and said it was fine, that Daddy regularly sings Cee Lo to lil William.

I tried to move on from “Down on Me,” but for some reason, went straight to Amy Winehouse’s “Rehab.” Finally a commercial came on with Huey Lewis, and I switched to “Do You Believe in Love?” Thank you, appropriateness.

I gotta ask the moms out there: Do you sing to your kids? Do you find yourself singing slightly, erm, inappropriate songs to them? Granted, I went straight to the dirty songs (if you know me, this isn’t terribly surprising) but even if you started with Colbie Calliat and *NSYNC, I bet you’d be hankerin’ for some 50 eventually.


It’s cool, they do it on “Friends,” too. “I am a terrible father … Please don’t take her away from me.”

On a slightly related note: When my brother (who — for those of you who are new to Snap, Crackle, Pop — is autistic) was learning to write, Mom would give him words, spelling them out for him. He’d copy them out, line after line, page after page.

During this time, I was in high school and early college. I’d offer to take over the dictating and spelling duties, and after about a dozen or two words, I got bored. So I spelled for him words like l-e-s-b-i-a-n and p-e-n-i-s and b-o-o-b-i-e-s. Hell, he didn’t know.

And it was always a treat when, 10 seconds or 10 minutes or an hour later, Mom would see Joey’s paper.

“JACLYN!”

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6 Responses to “What do you sing to your babies?”

  1. Jayme (Random Blogette) March 2, 2011 at 2:37 pm #

    I always made up songs to sing to Peanut. There is always the bushel and a peck song that my mom still sings to all of the babies now, too. But now, I sing Kesha, Katy Perry, Bruno Mars and Cee Lo to my niece!

    And that is seriously hilarious that you used to do that to your brother. I would’ve done the same thing!

  2. Meghan March 2, 2011 at 2:44 pm #

    Oh, I sing. A lot. I’ve become a master songwriter since becoming a mom. I can make up a song about anything. Dirty diaper songs are my specialty.

    And don’t feel bad about the whole 50 cent thing. While I was pregnant, I listened to a LOT of Howard Stern in the car. A lot. I have a long commute. They say babies can hear quite well in the womb and that when a baby is born, he/she can recognize his mom and dad’s voices. I was a tinyyyy bit worried that Ryan would think Howard was his dad. Luckily, he showed no outward signs of rejecting Mike and choosing Howard, so I think we’re ok.

    You’d think I would be happy I dodged a bullet and would never listen to Stern now with him in the car. You would THINK that, wouldn’t you?

  3. Alison March 2, 2011 at 2:50 pm #

    So funny! I love the last bit! 🙂

  4. Baby Pickel March 2, 2011 at 2:56 pm #

    Great stuff today, stop by soon as well.

  5. Stephanie March 2, 2011 at 3:01 pm #

    I told you how I was watching Glee, the Britney Spears episode, and Adam caught me singing “I’m a Slave” song…Adam did not think it was funny that I was signing that song and much less exposing our son to Britney Spears in general… hehe

  6. dana March 4, 2011 at 3:27 pm #

    I sing Barenaked Ladies “When you dream” when rocking babies to sleep (not that I do it often, but this is always the first song to pop in my head).
    Lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/barenakedladies/whenyoudream.html
    Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzzJZs–YZM

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