Quoted and noted: On love & happiness

18 Feb

‎”Love is not self-sacrifice, but the most profound assertion of your own needs and values. It is for your own happiness that you need the person you love, and that is the greatest compliment, the greatest tribute you can pay to that person.” ~ Ayn Rand, “Playboy,” March 1964

Sometimes, I think I keep journals and have friends to help with my memory. I have a terrible, TERRIBLE one. A friend just shared the above quote with me, which I ADORE. And she said it reminded her of one of my exboyfriends.

One of the many, many reasons this man is an exboyfriend is because when he would ask why I love him (he had very poor self esteem and sometimes really couldn’t understand why I felt the way I did), I would say some (less eloquent) version of the above — that I love how he makes me feel, that I’m so, so happy when I’m with him, that he’s my best friend.

That response would, inevitably, anger him. He told me they were selfish reasons, that they were about ME and not HIM. This confused me — because … well yes, I guess they are about me, but they’re caused by him. And anytime you choose to be in a relationship, you do so for selfish reasons: “Hey, you make me happy. Let’s keep you around.”

I forgot that he would do that. And I’m grateful to Dana for reminding me.  It adds about the 3,389th reason I love my beau. When I tell him how happy he makes me, it makes him happy to have caused that feeling in me.  In turn, knowing that I make him feel loved and appreciated and full (I’ve been making dinner a lot recently) fills me up with the good stuff.

I think Ayn Rand would approve.

When you list reasons you love your beau or belle, what are the first ones you think of?

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One Response to “Quoted and noted: On love & happiness”

  1. Jayme (The Random Blogette) February 18, 2011 at 12:42 pm #

    I love this! It would look so great in my family room!

    Exes are exes for a reason. Obviously he wasn’t worth your time dear, or your love!

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