I don’t normally write fiction, but this was challenging enough to make me want to give it a go: Over at The Red Dress Club, the prompt is to write something entirely in dialog. I hope this works out the way I intend it to … and if you have suggestions, tell me how to make it better!!
Before I wrote this, I admit I looked at some of the other posts. A number of them fudged the prompt just a tich by including their own description and character thought-processes. Almost without fail, all the posts I read would have been cooler without all that extra padding. Sure, it gave the reader more info, but there’s something very interesting about allowing a reader to fill in all the blanks for his- or herself.
That being said … I have no idea if this post does what I mean it to.
* * *
Salt and Peppa’s Here
“You ready, babycakes?”
“Turn around, let me see. Mmm, ‘I oughta thank your mother for a butt like that!’”
“Why thank you, thank you. I bought them just for tonight.”
“I love that you’re making such a big deal out of this.”
“Why not? Six-month anniversaries are big!”
“Yeah, but …”
“Hun, I don’t care that you didn’t get me anything. I’m a dork. Celebrating half a year is just how I roll.”
“I kind of feel a little guilty. I mean … I’m such a guy.”
“HA! Well, what does that make me, then?”
“Well … I’ve been called worse … don’t laugh at me!”
“You just look so sad, and for no reason! I love that you’re thoughtful. It means the world to me, and it’s my second favorite thing about you …”
“Stop looking at my ass!”
“Heh, well, it got to you grin. Gimme a smooch.”
“Love you, Ryan.”
“Love you, too, Lisa.”
* * *
Good writing doesn’t take explanation. I feel the need to explain what I was trying to do here, so obviously, it’s not very good writing. But that’s OK, because it took me out of my comfort zone.
My idea with this was to play with gender role. Upon first viewing, I wanted the reader to imagine the first speaker to be the man in the relationship and the second speaker to be the woman. Then, when I reveal the speakers names at the end of the piece, it shows … nope, other way.
Now, be honest: When you read it, who did you imagine as the first speaker and the second?